The gift of making space
Even if you have made other plans for your day or week, jet lag from an overseas flight does a number, and your body tells you to “chill out”. As in, the list you made, can wait.
Which is perfect advice during the season of Advent—the season for waiting and preparation. A time for quite literally, slowing down and making space. Not always my strong suit. So, I am smiling as I write this on the first Sunday of Advent.
In the past couple of days, I’ve been asked a few times, “So, how has your Camino pilgrimage changed you?” And “What’s next for you, after your second Camino?”
And my answer, “The permission—and gift—of making space.”
My friend Charlie reminded me that gratitude is the “readiness to show appreciation.” Making space to be here now.
Oh, and speaking of gratitude, this is one of the lessons from the Camino; Not one of us walks alone.
I’m a movie fan, and am remembering a great storyline from Last Flag Flying. It is the story of a Vietnam vet who visits two of his fellow Marines to ask them for help in bringing the body of his son, a fallen soldier in Iraq, to Arlington and take him to his scheduled burial.
“I was wondering if you guys could come with me,” he says softly.
Yes. Would you walk this pilgrimage with me?
It’s the number one lesson I bring home with me. There’s a good deal of conversation about what to believe or stand for, these days. And yet. More than ever I’m seeing that when discussion or debate turns into argument meant to divide, we miss the opportunity to be human with one another—to walk one another home.
“Everywhere I go these days,” Jon Katz writes, “I run into people trying to get me to hate other people – e-mails, phone calls, lunches with friends, cable news channels, newspapers. They are the new electric messengers, they carry grievances from far and wide, and alarms from just outside the door. Every minute of the day someone is trying to alert me to an outrage committed by some person with a different label than I have. A person I am supposed to hate.”
Is there immunity from hate?
Sabbath Moment friend Rabbi Ted Falcon talks about Jacob waking up, “being initiated into a far more expansive appreciation of the interconnectedness of all Being. After obtaining the blessing of the firstborn that Esau had expected to receive, Jacob flees the anger of his brother. On his first night alone in the wilderness, he lay down and slept.
After his dream, he wakes…
‘And Jacob awoke from his sleep, and he said, Surely Eternal Being is in this place; and I did not know.’ (The Book of Genesis)
Awakening is always the intrusion of the greater meaning into the present moment. We awaken to what we had been blind to, but which is always here. Jacob realizes that his place is a place of connection—a place where levels of reality meet.
‘And he was afraid, and said, How awesome is this place! this is no other but the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.’”
So. Now we’re back to the question about what I learned on the Camino. Embracing the gift of waking up. When we live awake, our world is different, changed.
We see.
We are open to receive—with gratitude, the “readiness to show appreciation.”
And we embrace our better angel. (Too often ignored, I’m afraid.)
Our better angel enters the day vulnerable and receptive, filled with compassion and empathy, and heartache and redemption.
Waking up is not easy. Lord have mercy.
I will get scared. The problem is when I assume that this vulnerability is unacceptable, or needs to be covered up and apologized for.
What if I don’t feel strong enough? What if the weight I carry is too great?
There is something potent in our need to confine, conscript, and control, as if we can only make a difference when we have our act together.
But here’s the deal: Awake, we find—and embrace, and give from—our real self.
Jacob, almost 70, finds himself in the mid-stages of Alzheimer’s. For over 20 years a clinical psychologist and mediator, Jacob is now acutely aware that his faculties are deteriorating. On occasion his mind and recall are totally blank. At times he needs help with rudimentary physical tasks. Even so, Jacob’s spirit does not break.
At a retreat with Tara Brach, Jacob is asked, “How can you be so accepting toward your disease?”
He said simply, “Because it doesn’t feel like anything is wrong. I feel grief and some fear about it all going, but it all feels like real life.”
Jacob told Tara a story about an experience at an event—which happened in the earlier stages of the disease—when he traveled and gave talks about Buddhism. On one occasion, a hundred meditation students (alert and eager) gathered. He looked out at the expectant faces, and suddenly didn’t know what to say or do. He didn’t know where he was or why he was there. With his heart pounding and his mind spinning in confusion, Jacob put his palms together at his heart, and began naming, out loud, what was happening inside; “Afraid, embarrassed, confused, feeling like I’m failing, powerless, shaking, sense of dying, sinking, lost.” In time he relaxed and grew calm. He lifted his head. And apologized to the audience. Students were in tears. “No one has ever taught us like this,” said many.
Which begs the question, “What exactly did he teach?”
And what lesson is to be learned here? “Surely Eternal Being is in this place; and I did not know… Awakening is always the intrusion of the greater meaning into the present moment.”
So yes. In this moment, this Terry is enough.
I need to let you know that I may get scared (afraid of being misunderstood, or unseen, or unheard, or of being dispensable), but that will not stop me from bringing my whole soft heart to this day.
And the freedom to ask, “I was wondering if you would walk with me?”
I am so very grateful that you are a part of Sabbath Moment. And grateful for the support that makes it possible. Please, pass Sabbath Moment on to friends. And invite them to join us.
In the New Year I’ll be on the road again, my first event will be in Northern California. A retreat you don’t want to miss. And if you’re not in the neighborhood, let a friend know about it. January 23 – 25 at Mercy Center in Auburn, California. Our subject: Soul Gardening. I’ll see some of you there.
And prayers for all those who were impacted by the severe weather in the Midwest.
And during this Advent season, onward together my friends.
Quote for your week…
“You never know what you’re going to encounter en route. (So, now) I don’t miss a thing. I touch everything.” Andy Merrifield
BULLETIN BOARD
Today’s Photo Credit: “Terry, this was just one of many signs along the Camino. Signs reminding us that God was present and is always present with us.” Margaret Moore… Thank you Margaret… Thank you to all, I love your photos… please, keep sending them… send to terryhersheyster@gmail.com
Yes, your gift makes a difference… Donation = Love…
Help make Sabbath Moment possible. I write SM because I want to live with a soft heart; to create a place for sanctuary, empathy, inclusion, compassion and kindness… a space where we are refueled to make a difference. SM remains free.
(Address by check: PO Box 65336, Port Ludlow, WA 98365)
POEMS AND PRAYERS
Advent Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Master of both the light and the darkness, send
your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do and seek quiet spaces
to hear your voice each day,
We who are anxious over many things look forward
to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long
for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.
To you we say, “Come Lord Jesus!’
Amen.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
Gracious God,
Thank you for the gift of today.
Refresh me, invite me,
To discover Your presence in each person
That I meet and every event encountered.
Teach me when to speak and when to listen
When to ponder and when to share.
In moments of challenge and decision
Attune my heart to the whisperings
Of Your Wisdom.
As I undertake ordinary and unnoticed
Tasks, gift me with simple joy.
When the day goes well, may I rejoice!
When it grows difficult
Surprise me with new possibilities.
When life is overwhelming
Call me to Sabbath Moments
To restore Your Peace and Harmony.
May my living today
Reveal your goodness.
Amen.
Blessing by Pat Bergen, CSJ
