Empathy matters
In a world where power, and dominance, hold sway, where the vulnerable and disadvantaged, and soft-hearted, are denigrated, and vilified, there are some days while reading the stories, I need to stop, let the tears fall, and pick up the pieces of my heart.
It all revisited, after seeing the Ramaswamy ad which weaponized a story about abused children.
From the time I was a young boy, the meanness and cruelty of bullies pained (and distressed) me. At my core. I still have memories, watching bullies demean, and “beat up”, the “unmanly” boys in our school.
And as a boy, watching bullies demean, and “beat up” the vulnerable—other boys, who were my friends—I would regretfully, turn a blind eye. I can’t, and will not, do that anymore.
Gratefully, there are many stories about people who do not turn a blind eye. Stories where men and woman, boys and girls, step up and step in, to help and to care and to give.
Sometimes we need stories more that food to stay alive. Stories to remind us, what really matters.
I have always loved watching Steve Hartman tell his stories on “Kindness 101” (or, in “On the Road”).
Hunter Blankenship is a 10-year-old autistic boy, from Clanton, Alabama.
And Hunter loved to wear his rainbow-colored glasses. Why? He really liked how they looked.
Sadly, it wasn’t long at school, before an older boy began to bully Hunter, using homophobic slurs, even telling Hunter to kill himself—comments Hunter took literally. The crisis led to a two-week stay in the psychiatric ward, at Children’s of Alabama, in Birmingham.
After Hunter’s release from the hospital, while recuperating at home, his mother, Meghan Fancher, posted a humble request on social media. She asked if four or five locals could drive their cars slowly by Hunter’s home, as a way of showing Hunter that people cared about him.
Local restaurant owner Sergio Sanchez saw the post, and mobilized regional car clubs. I’m smiling big now. So, instead of a handful of vehicles, an estimated 1,500 show cars, and 1,500-plus people—men, woman and children—turned out to let Hunter know he was not alone. And downtown Clanton, Alabama, gladly “shut down” to accommodate the massive car rally.
Well, the overwhelming display of solidarity lifted Hunter’s spirits, restored his confidence, and helped him feel proud to wear his rainbow glasses again.
Oh, and now, he has many, many new friends at school, who join him, wearing rainbow-colored glasses.
Here’s the deal:
Empathy matters.
Compassion matters.
And community backbone matters.
And I can hear my hero’s voice.
“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility,” Mr. Rogers tells us. “It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes… When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
This does my heart good. To be rejuvenated by the ripples from people and places where joy and kindness and empathy and small gestures of grace spill. “The Grace we seek but have forgotten.” There is power here, to remind us that our heart still absorbs and spills goodness. So necessary in a world that feels more and more cynical.
“Be soft,” Kurt Vonnegut invites us. “Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
Speaking of Mr. Rogers, have you seen the movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”? The movie, stars Tom Hanks and is based on the relationship between Rogers and Tom Junod which began in 1998 when Junod wrote an article for Esquire, “Can you say, Hero?”
“Wondering how Fred was genuinely available and present to the people around him, Junod recounts calling Fred to tell him the story about five people stopping their cars to help an ancient and enormous snapping turtle across a highway exit ramp near Atlanta. Mr. Rogers said that would make a good story. Tom asked him why. Fred Rogers responds, ‘Because whenever people come together to help either another person or another creature, something has happened, and everyone wants to know about it – because we all want to know that there’s a graciousness at the heart of creation.’
I love that phrase – graciousness at the heart of creation, I know what he means. The beauty of humanity, of doing good when we can, of loving our neighbors, of treating one another openhearted, with dignity and respect, welcoming and reconciling.
Here’s the deal: We easily forget that this graciousness is alive and well in each of us; for as Rogers so frequently pointed out, everybody was a child once.
I wonder why we forget. Why we give way to our lesser selves; to small-mindedness and intolerance. Whenever our words demean, humiliate or shame, we cut off the oxygen of hope.”
As a rule, I want you to know that I usually don’t cry when I read magazine articles. But yesterday, I did. Gratefully.
So. This week let us continue to circle back to friends with rainbow-colored glasses, or the folks helping the turtle; the graciousness at the heart of creation. It spills.
After international travel, I’m still trying to reconnect with my own time zone. Let’s just say that it takes longer than it used to.
And here in the garden, most of the leaves are down. Looking out the window, there are showers of yellow and red whirlybirds. I love this time of year. When the garden, in its weary and disheveled look, evokes beauty, letting go of hurry and urgency and performance and the need for public opinion. An antidote to our compulsions to tidiness, and perfection. And cynicism. To find exquisite beauty in whatever is soft, and spilling graciousness.
For those in the Pacific Northwest, on Saturday, November 7th I’ll be at “Our Lady Queen of Heaven”, in Tacoma, WA. I’d love to see you there. My topic, “This little Light of Mine: Making a Difference in our World, bringing our Church into our everyday lives.”
And for baseball fans everywhere, I can tell you that I’m really enjoying the World Series. Something about collective joy, that is just the ticket.
Quote for your week…
“Rogers defined my new job and my real job when he said once that the real work we have as human beings was ‘to make goodness attractive in the so-called next millennium.’” Tom Junod
Note: For the Hunter Blankenship story, start at minute 2:47.
BULLETIN BOARD
Today’s Photo Credit: One more photo from recent journey. Standing on, and walking, the White Cliffs of Dover (England), looking out toward France. Yes, vistas that make you say, “Looook”… And thank you to all, I love your photos… please, keep sending them… send to tdh@terryhershey.com
Yes, your gift makes a difference… Donation = Love…
Help make Sabbath Moment possible. I write SM because I want to live with a soft heart; to create a place for sanctuary, empathy, inclusion, compassion and kindness… a space where we are refueled to make a difference. SM remains free.
(Address by check: PO Box 65336, Port Ludlow, WA 98365)
POEMS AND PRAYERS
A Blessing for Uncertain Times
Bless you when you cannot see far ahead. May you do the next faithful thing.
Kate Bowler (October 25)
Bless you who do not know what happens next,
who worry about the world we are walking toward.
May uncertainty remind you that you still have choices to make.
Bless you with courage
for the small, faithful thing that is yours to do: to vote,
pay attention, tell the truth,
care for your neighbors,
and keep showing up.
Bless you who cannot carry the whole future.
May you carry what is yours:
a responsibility, a neighbor,
a small corner of this beautiful, terrible world.
Bless you when you cannot see far ahead.
May you do the next faithful thing,
and then the next,
until our small acts make a path
where none was visible before.
Music for the Soul…
New–
Empathy — Alanis Morissette
